Mum made pretty much all our dresses when we were little. When I see a scrap of fabric from one of my childhood dresses in her stash or in a quilt she's made, I immediately recall every detail of the dress, the first time I wore it, whether the top button choked me and how good the skirt was for swirling. I wish I still had all my homemade dresses so I could line them up in chronological order and have a fairly complete history of my young life. But strangely, this week I've had the clearest memories of dresses I never owned.
Being a little girl who loved dresses I pored over the latest catalogues from KMart and Fosseys looking for the latest in girls fashions. It was a time of peplums and rara skirts, and it makes my heart beat faster to see the same styles on the girls racks at Target now. How many years ahead can I buy my own daughter's clothes, and dress her for the next six years in the styles I coveted? I never thought I'd be swayed from my stance that putting non-walking children in dresses in completely impractical, but my current favourite thing to dress her in is a cheap little dress from KMart, like this one:

In Target last week I saw a similar little tunic and leggings in the Girls 1-6 section, in a dark pink with black dots. Immediately I was transported back to around 1987 and laying eyes on the Dannii range in a KMart catalogue. There was a tunic with a rara skirt and bow at the back and matching leggings with a ruffle around the waist. I was concerned that the ruffle on the legging would be covered by the bottom ruffle of the rara skirt, and why would Dannii waste a ruffle this way? I longed to have this outfit. I think I may have even talked Mum into saying maybe we'd drive to KMart in the next town to have a look.
The next day my best friend flouted the school uniform rules and wore her new Dannii outfit, the one from the catalogue, to school. It was beautiful. Never had I seen such a sophisticated pink and never had ruffles and a bow been combined in such a stylish way. My best friend proudly proclaimed that her dad had bought the last one and all the Dannii clothes had sold out. She was right - you can hear more about it on
John Safran's Music Jamboree. This outfit was never to be mine. I'm seriously considering visiting this week's 20% off kids clothing sale at Target to get Baby Amy the outfit I never owned.
By the next year I had recovered sufficiently from my disappointment (but obviously hadn't forgotten it) and was looking through the latest Fosseys publication fresh from the letterbox. Inside I spied a surprisingly charming summer dress. It's no surprise that I was seduced my the rara skirt with alternating spotted and striped layers, but by the fact it was blue. I think the catalogue even said there was a pink one, but the blue one pictured looked so good that I was converted to this new colour. It was available in my size, I think it was $12 (considering Amy's KMart dress was $10 that must have been a decent amount of money back then), and I made my desire very clear to my parents. I don't specifically remember doing that, but young girls have no subtlety so I must have done. I went away to school camp for a week, the image of the blue ruffled dress tucked away in the back of my mind.
I arrived home from camp having survived bush walks and leeches and was greeted by my little sister wearing that dress. She casually showed it off, not overly humbled by having been bought a rare spontaneous present (even a shop-bought dress!) and clearly undeserving of this ravishing garment. I was heartbroken. I asked to go to bed early and, when asked if something was wrong, just said I was feeling tired. That was the first time I was aware of telling a white lie to protect someone else's (my parents') feelings. At some point a trip to Fosseys to get me the same dress was made and I clung to the promise to get me through to shopping day. When we got to Fosseys the gorgeous spotted and striped dresses in my size, in blue or any other colour, were all gone. I was bought some weak substitute which I didn't love and have no recollection of.
Perhaps I wouldn't remember these amazing rara dresses if I'd actually owned them. Perhaps the unfulfilled longing is what has stamped them indelibly on my memory. I'm sure my mum will be surprised to read this and probably not remember any of it. In wanting to buy replicas of these lost dresses for my daughter I'm partly trying to avoid her experiencing these relatively insignificant disappointments in life. But if I remember these dresses only because I didn't own them, there's no way I can protect her by buying everything she asks for. Especially when she's only seven months old and has no idea what clothes are. Maybe she won't even like dresses. What irony that would be for a dressmaker's daughter.
I won lots of dresses now. With the combination of patternmaking and dressmaking skills and a large dress fabric stash I can make myself as many dresses as I want. Unfortunately I don't have the time or energy to do so or the panache to wear a frock when I spend my days looking after two kids, but in theory I could have a new dress every week (so don't feel too bad, Mum). Today I'm heading off to Rathdowne Remnants to find the stuff for a dress (I love in Laura Ingalls Wilder books when she refers to "the stuff for a dress") for an evening wedding at NGV International. I'm taking
Gertie's New Blog for Better Sewing as my general style inspiration and may attempt something like her recent
black eyelet dress, if I can afford the fabric. Or I might be more realistic about my available time and simply make a high-waisted skirt to go with a top I've already got. The one thing you can count on is I won't be wearing a rara skirt.